


just stop your crying (it'll be alright)

by fandomlee



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Not a ship fic, Parental Love, Pre A New Hope, Star Wars - Freeform, The Clone Wars - Freeform, post tcw s7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:16:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29679684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomlee/pseuds/fandomlee
Summary: ahsoka tano. it was a name obi wan hadn’t heard in years, and hadn’t expected to ever hear again. certainly not in a dirty cantina in tatooine years after the republic fell.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 1
Kudos: 34





	1. CHAPTER ONE

**Author's Note:**

> note: i just finished the clone wars and haven't seen rebels yet!

ahsoka tano. it was a name obi wan hadn’t heard in years, and hadn’t expected to ever hear again. certainly not in a dirty cantina in tatooine years after the republic fell. after anakin fell.  
no, anakin skywalker was dead. vader killed him. anakin died the moment he pledged himself to the dark side, another victim of the clone wars, and the far more sinister plot that had been behind it than anyone had dared to believe. anakin had died, along with everyone else that obi wan had held dear. he had lost them all- anakin, padme, ahsoka- all in the span of one rotation. if obi wan thought about it for too long, he was afraid he’d never come back from the pit of despair.  
obi wan needed to do something, anything, after a particularly rough day, where the memories wouldn’t leave him alone. he had never been one to drink while he was a jedi, he found indulging in such things to be unnecessary, but ever since his fate became living in solitude, forced to watch over a boy from afar, vowing never to allow himself to get close to the boy...well such things didn’t seem like such a big deal anymore. he made his way to the cantina, ordered the strongest drink he could find, and sat down in a table in the far left corner.  


obi wan listened. he was good at listening. he mastered the art of listening years ago, whether it be listening to qui gon lecture him when he was a padawan, or listening to the jedi council debate for hours about the order, or listening to anakin and ahsoka ramble on about the latest holofilm they had seen. regardless of what it was, obi wan was a man of few words, but he heard everything going on around him. if you sat in a cantina long enough, you would hear a lot of stories. time lost its meaning, and quite honestly, obi wan could feel a little more normal in there, just another face in the crowd.  


“‘soka tano sent me,” was the phrase that threw obi wan out of his jawa-juice induced haze. he picked his head up, eyes darting in the direction of the voice.  


“what did you say?” obi wan asked, words coming out a little bit more slurred than he had anticipated. the men who had spoken, clearly bounty hunters of some kind, quieted down.  


“what’s it to you?” the biggest one, a trandoshan, said as he stood up. obi wan, jawa juice giving him courage, stood up as well.  


“that name, where did you hear it?” obi wan repeated. his heart was hammering unusually hard.  


“let me rephrase that. what’s it worth to you?” the trandoshan asked. obi wan reached into his pocket, handing over 5 credits. the trandoshan took them, inspected them, and put them in his pocket.  


“just a name i heard from a bounty hunter. some togrutan kid,” he shrugged. obi wan felt his heart beat faster.  


“which bounty hunter?” obi wan pleaded.  


“hm?” the trandoshan asked. obi wan rolled his eyes, reached into his pocket, and put two more credits on the table.  
“

i said, which bounty hunter? what was his name?”  


“her name was bo. bo something...i don’t remember the last name,” the trandoshan said.  


“bo katan?” obi wan said incredulously.  
“

yeah, yeah that was her. she’s here on mos eisley, if you want to talk to her. though i’d  
imagine her fee is a bit steeper than mine,” the trandoshan hissed. obi wan said, nothing, simply putting credits down on his table to pay for his drink, and darted out of the cantina.  


ahsoka was alive. ahsoka was alive. obi wan hadn’t seen her at the jedi temple after the attack, and lived with the horrible image of rex killing her, alone and afraid, for all these years.  


obi wan wasn’t sure when he had broken into a sprint, looking for some trace of bo katan, or better, ahsoka herself. he wasn’t sure what he’d do when he finally saw her. he’d spent years thinking about what he would have told his family if he had known that it was the last time he was going to see them. sure, he had tried to let them know how dear they were to him before every mission- but now, it still didn’t feel like enough. he hadn’t hugged them enough, told them he loved him enough, thanked them for being there for him through everything. and now, he may have a second chance.  


he looked everywhere for even a glimpse of something that could give him a clue as to her whereabouts, when he saw a woman walking in familiar mandalorian armour.  


“bo katan!” obi wan shouted. the woman stopped in her tracks, turing her head to the direction of the voice. when she was able to make out the face of her caller, she froze, and took off her helmet.  


“obi wan kenobi?” she asked in disbelief. “you’re alive?”  


“where’s ahsoka?” obi wan asked, wasting no time to achieve his task.  


“what? what are you doing here? how did you escape, i thought all the jedi had been-”  


“bo katan, please. where’s ahsoka? i heard she was with you.” bo katan’s face hardened.  


“where did you hear that?” bo katan asked.  


“does it matter? bo, please. i need to see her, i need her to know i’m alive,” obi wan pleaded. bo katan’s face softened when she saw the look of pure desperation obi wan was currently wearing. she sighed.  


“look, come with me,” she said, putting her helmet on her head before looking around. she took obi wan’s wrist and pulled him into an alley covered by a battered and beaten tapestry.  


“i can’t tell you much. she’s working undercover with me. last time i talked to her, she was on jedha,” bo katan whispered.  


“jedha?” obi wan cried.  


“shhh! what part of ‘undercover’ did you miss?” bo katan said, putting a finger up to his lips.  


“what the kriff is she doing there?”  


“i already said i couldn’t tell you much. in fact i’ve probably told you too much already,” bo katan sighed. obi wan looked around, eager to start his journey to find his grandpadawn. “listen to me obi wan,” bo katan started.  


“actually, it’s ben now,” obi wan corrected. bo katan scrunched her face up in confusion for a moment before disregarding the comment.  


“whatever you name is, listen up. if you do anything to compromise this mission, you will be joining my sister in the stars. got is?” the mention of satine sobered obi wan, who nodded.  


“thank you, bo katan. really,” obi wan said sincerely. she nodded, and without saying another word, took off on her jetpack. obi wan stood in a stunned silence for a moment, processing all of the new information that had been given to him. despite the deep seated sadness he felt for the actions that caused this situation to arise, obi wan couldn’t help but feel giddy with excitement.  


ahsoka was alive.  


he needed to find a ship to take him to jedha. he wasn’t sure how he’d be able to get one on tatooine- being a hermit didn’t exactly pay well. still, obi wan had been quite resourceful in his youth. then, there was the question of the young boy he was supposed to be keeping an eye on. watching over luke from afar proved to be a much harder task than he cared to admit- he wanted nothing more than to see the boy, all that remained of his brother and good friend, and teach him everything he knew. still, 

he knew better. he had seen what his love for anakin had done, and was terrified of doing the same thing to luke.  
he was sure that the boy, who was only four years old, couldn’t get into much trouble while obi wan was gone. of course, he was still anakin’s child, and obi wan could only hope that he took after padme when it came to his ability to create chaos.  
‘

a ship,’ obi wan thought, remembering the task at hand. ‘i need to find a ship.’ he considered his options. he could steal a ship, sure, but obi wan liked to think that he still maintained some semblance of a moral code. he could buy a ship, but with his reputation and lack of funds, he was more than sure that anyone selling a ship would certainly take advantage of his desperate situation. his last option, and one that he desperately didn’t want to do, was to gently suggest to someone that they let him borrow his ship. obi wan had no idea if that would even work- he had closed himself off to the force months after anakin fell, their distorted bond too painful to bear. he hadn’t so much as mediated since that day. on top of that, if he was caught attempting to use the force, and he failed, he was certain that some bounty hunter wouldn’t hesitate to grab him and hand him over to the empire.  


but it still looked like his only option.  


he looked around for his target, somewhere isolated where he would risk the least if he failed. he found a small rodian unloading a small ship over by the back of the cantina. obi wan put his hood up and casually made his way to the ship.  


‘this is for ahsoka,’ he reminded himself. he walked up to the rodian and took a breath.  


“excuse me,” he said, getting his attention.  


“yeah? what do you want?” the rodian asked. obi wan sucked in a breath. “well? spit it out?”  


obi wan held up a hand. “you will let me board your ship, and leave the planet,” he said, pretending not to notice the way he hand shook as if he were still a padawan.  


“what?” the rodian asked. obi wan felt his heart rate spike up. he swallowed the lump of fear in his throat, and raised his hand again, more confidently this time. he had been a jedi knight, a jedi master, and a general in the clone wars. he could do this.  


“i said, you will let me board your ship, and leave the planet.” obi wan waited for a moment as the rodian stood up straight, and nodded.  


“i will let you board my ship and leave the planet,” he nodded, walking away without a second thought. obi wan breathed out a sigh of relief, and wasted no time running onto the ship, sitting down in the cockpit. he looked at the controls for a moment, and found himself, not for the first time, wishing anakin was with him. he was a good pilot, sure, but having anakin by his side always made him feel at ease. anakin was the best pilot he had ever met.  


‘snap out of it,’ obi wan reminded himself. ‘anakin is gone. but ahsoka may not be, and you need to find her.’ he pushed a few of the buttons, finding that perhaps not all of his knowledge that he had kept from his days as a general- knowledge that he thought he had shoved down to the darkest parts of his memory- were buried as deep has he had thought. obi wan felt actual joy as the ship sprung to life, and he set his course to jedha.  


the trip was going to be a long one, jedha was at least 5 parsecs away from tatooine, and he figured that, even while jumping to hyperspace, he’d be on the ship for at least a day. he set the course for jedha, and made the jump to hyperspace. obi wan leaved back in his seat, letting himself feel the full weight of the situation for the first time today.  
he was going to be seeing ahsoka. ahsoka tano, his grandpadawan, the girl who he let down, the girl who he loved as much as if she were his own padawan. when she had made the choice to leave the order, he had stood back and allowed anakin to talk to her, gave him time to grieve, but at night, when he was certain he was alone, would take his own time to mourn her. he and anakin may have had their differences in the way they showed affection, but obi wan would have done anything to protect that girl. and he had failed, just like he had failed everyone else. satine, padme, anakin, and ahsoka too; obi wan felt responsible for all of them.  


obi wan thought about what he was about to do. even if he did see ahsoka again, was he prepared for that? did he even have the words to tell her how sorry he was? and if he did, would it matter? what if ahsoka didn’t want to see him? what if she blamed him for anakins fall, for padme’s death. or worse, what if she did? obi wan wasn’t sure if he would be able to face her in the eyes and tell her what he had done.  


lost in his thoughts, and staring at the emptiness of space, obi wan fell asleep.


	2. CHAPTER TWO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> obi wan and ahsoka finally reunite

when obi wan woke up, it was because the ship was telling him he was arriving at his destination. he blinked a few times, getting his bearings before remembering he was on a ship heading to jedha, and not on the sandy planet of tatooine. he sat up, rubbing his eyes and taking the ship off of autopilot, landing it on a crowded landing bay in what looked like the heart of the planet.  


stepping off the ship, obi wan felt uneasy almost immediately. he had no reason to believe that ahsoka wanted anything to do with him, let alone see him. what if she knew he was alive, and simply didn’t care?  


‘that’s silly,’ obi wan thought. ‘there was no way she could have known you were alive. you haven’t had any contact with any other jedi since-’ obi wan shook his head. of course ahsoka would be happy to see him. or at least that’s what he had to tell himself in order to keep going.  


he realized fairly quickly that he had arrived on jedha with nothing to go on. he didn’t even know if ahsoka was still here, and if she would, where she would be. bo katan said she was undercover, so what if he wasn’t able to recognize her? he had gone undercover plenty of times, and one time it involved him physically changing into another person. the only hope that he had of finding ahsoka was…  


was opening himself up to the force again.  


obi wan didn’t like the force. not anymore. his bond with anakin didn’t break when he fell, instead, it rotted, turning into a phantom of it former self. back during the clone wars, his bond with anakin was a constant comfort, a reassurance that they were both still okay, that they were alive and together- no matter how dire the situation was. they spent rough nights sleeping on cold floors or jail cells, or in the back of a ship, sending each other comforting waves through their bond. quite honestly, it was the reason both of them had been able to remain as sane as they did. most padawans broke their bonds with their masters in a ritual during the knighting ceremony, but anakin and obi wan had decided, perhaps selfishly, that it would be more useful for them to keep the bond open until at least the war was over. that was the story they told the council, who reluctantly agreed. secretly, they both knew it was because neither of them was ready to let the other go. qui gon had told obi wan once that he couldn’t picture him as a jedi knight. it wasn’t said out of malice, in fact it was quite the opposite. qui gon simply wasn’t ready to see the boy grow up. obi wan found himself in a similar situation with anakin- he had his childhood stolen from him because of slavery, and then his training was cut short as the war began. obi wan wasn’t ready to stop caring for the boy, wasn’t ready to stop being responsible for his needs. it was attachment, and they both knew it. they never addressed it.  


when anakin fell, it wasn’t an immediate feeling. their bond changed, of course, it felt more rigid and angry, but it still wasn’t bad. in fact, obi wan spent the first few weeks in exile taking comfort in the fact that it hadn’t broken, taking it as a sign of hope, that perhaps anakin could still be saved. but over the course of the next few weeks, he could feel anakin- no, vader- vader’s hatred and loathing start to harden. their bond became hot, sharp, painful, and noisy. obi wan tried to be as strong as possible, but eventually, the pain became too much to bear. rather than break it, though, obi wan shut himself off to the force completely. he figured he could come back to it later. breaking their bond would mean giving up on anakin altogether.  


here he was, though, four years later, forced to open himself up to the force once again. he wasn’t sure the force would be very happy with him, and braced himself for the onslaught of anger that he would face once it happened. he found a relatively quiet space to meditate, and focused on his abilities to tap into the force. he thought of the happy memories he had raising anakin, like the first time anakin had felt comfortable talking to obi wan about his mother. he thought about satine, about how happy she made him. he thought about padme, and how much he loved how happy she made anakin, despite the repercussions. finally, he focused his energy on ahsoka, on the young togrutan girl who had stolen both anakin and obi wan’s hearts.  


the force was angry, all right. he could hear it yelling at him, why did you do this? why did you leave me? obi wan felt shameful, and then was faced with the painful bond with anakin screaming in his head.  
vader was much, much stronger than he was four years ago. it made obi wan sick to his stomach. he could tell vader had sensed it too.  


what are you doing here? leave me ALONE! it seemed to scream. obi wan tried to ignore it, tried to focus his energy on locating ahsoka’s force signature. if she was here, he would be able to feel it. of that much he was certain.  


ahsoka’s force signature was much different than anakin’s. anakin’s, in his prime, felt like spending all day in the sun with your loved ones, and coming home, exhausted, sunburnt, and heart full of love. ahsoka’s was different. ahsoka’s signature felt like a warm drink on a cold winter day. it felt like a protective hug from someone you love.  
he focused in on it, faint at first, but suddenly, as she realized what was happening, she felt it grow stronger. it grew around his and curiously tried to tap into his, as if asking if he was real.  


it’s me, padawan. i’m here. obi wan said through the force. he felt a lump grow in his throat but he swallowed it down. he sent more waves of reassurance through their bond, trying to let her know it was okay. ever since order 66, jedi had to be much more on edge. there were constantly bounty hunters on their trail, trying to lure them into a trap, and turn them into the empire for a quick buck. i promise you, i’m here. i’m trying to find you.  


as if she had given him her exact location, obi wan suddenly shot his head up, looking around for ahsoka. she was here, he was sure of it. he could find her. obi wan’s heart raced as he broke into a sprint, looking for the young girl who he never dreamed he’d see again.  


“obi wan?” came a small voice from behind him. obi wan stopped in his tracks, freezing for a moment, before turning to find the source of the voice. there she was, ahsoka tano, alive, in front of him. obi wan’s feet starting moving before his mind had time to catch up, racing towards her and tackling her in a hug.  


“ahsoka, ahsoka,” obi wan sobbed. he was shaking, that much he was sure of, but he didn’t care. ahsoka was crying now, too, burying her head in his neck and sobbing. “ahsoka i’m so sorry, i’m sorry, i-”  


“obi wan,” ahsoka sobbed, pulling back for a moment to look at him. obi wan’s lip wobbled as he looked at her. she was so grown up, her montrals went well below her waist now. her face was older, too, worn down from worry and the horrible events that no one her age should have lived though.  


“oh, look at you,” obi wan breathed. “you look so grown up.” ahsoka let out a wet laugh, reaching her hand up to wipe away some of his tears.  


“i could say the same about you, old man,” ahsoka teased, and obi wan pulled her into another hug.  


“i thought you were dead, ahsoka, i thought-” obi wan shook his head. “i thought i’d lost all of you. i’m so sorry. i’m sorry i wasn’t strong enough.”  


“obi wan, stop. you aren’t responsible for any of this. it was palpatine. no one could have known,” ahsoka reassured. she led them over to a bench, not letting go of his robe. she found it comforting that after all these years, he still looked relatively the same. ahsoka couldn’t say the same about herself, she looked nothing like the jedi she had been raised as. she now wore plain clothes that allowed her to blend into any crowd. best for doing undercover work for the rebellion.  


“how did- how did you survive?” obi wan asked. ahsoka looked down.  


“i almost didn’t. rex left for a mission report, and when he came back, the entire 501st had their guns pointed at me,” she said sadly.  


“oh god, rex. is he-”  


“he’s alive!” ahsoka exclaimed. obi wan picked his head up.  


“he’s alive? how?” obi wan asked in disbelief.  


“i managed to get to safety, and isolate him. i knocked him out, and with the help of a few droids, i got the chip out of his head. he was the only reason i survived. the rest of them...jesse...they all went down in the ship. rex and i were the only two survivors. we buried them all.” obi wan’s eyes widened. he thought about how old she was at the time- only seventeen years old. he felt the tears well up in his eyes again.  


“oh, dear one, i’m so sorry. i’m so sorry you had to go through that,” obi wan said, unable to meet her eyes.  


"i can’t believe you’re alive,” ahsoka said suddenly. “i thought i was the only one left.” obi wan shook his head.  


“master yoda survived, too. as far as i know, us three are the only one’s left,” obi wan looked down. ahsoka looked at him, meeting his eyes with teary eyes of her own.  


“i’m so glad you’re okay. i spent so many years thinking...i thought-”  


“i know, ahsoka. i thought the same thing.” both of them sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, simply basking in the revelation that the other was actually alive, and in front of them.  


ahsoka broke the silence. “anakin...is he…”  


“he’s dead,” obi wan said quickly. if ahsoka wasn’t sure what had happened to her former master, obi wan figured learning he was dead would be an easier pill to swallow than finding out he had turned. still, ahsoka had never been easy to fool. she shook her head sadly.  


“i heard him. when i was on the ship with rex, just before…” ahsoka trailed off. “i felt him fall.” she closed her eyes tightly, before turning to look up at obi wan, who let out a sad sigh.  


“yes. anakin fell. but you must understand, it wasn’t- he didn’t...it wasn’t his fault.”  


“wasn’t his fault?” ahsoka said defensively. “he abandoned the order! abandoned everyone he loved!”  


“he was under sidious’s manipulation. if we had just known who the sith was...if i had just paid more attention, then maybe he wouldn’t have...i could have saved him,” obi wan said, letting out the years of guilt he had been carrying around.  


“no!” ahsoka yelled suddenly, her eyes stormy. “anakin made his choice. he chose to turn his back on us, on everyone!” obi wan shook his head.  


“ahsoka you don’t understand-”  


“why are you still trying to protect him?”  


“he’s my padawan!” obi wan said defensively.  


“and i was his!” ahsoka countered.  


“you left! you left the order!” obi wan retaliated.  


“because no one was on my side! everyone, including you, abandoned me!”  


“no one made you do that, ahsoka! we all wanted you back! you made the choice to leave! maybe if you had stayed, anakin wouldn’t have fallen!” the moment that the words came out of his life, obi wan regretted them. ahsoka stood up sharply, turning to face away from obi wan.  


“ahsoka-”  


“you never should have come. it was better when i thought you were dead,” ahsoka said harshly. the words cut through obi wan like a knife, stabbing him right in his heart. he couldn’t lose her again, not when he had just gotten her back.  


“ahsoka, i’m sorry. i didn’t mean it. you’re right anakin made his choice, but i still can’t help but blame myself. i shouldn’t have taken my guilt out on you. i’m so sorry, dear one,” obi wan said softly. ahsoka let out a long sigh, turning back to face obi wan. to obi wan’s horror, she had tears in her eyes.  


“you don’t think i don’t blame myself?” ahsoka whispered. “i live with that same guilt, every single day. i wake up, and i think to myself, ‘what if i hadn’t left? could things have been different? could i have saved him?’ you think i don’t regret going to mandalore instead of staying with him? i hate myself for what happened to anakin,” ahsoka wept. obi wan opened his arms for her, and she found herself burying her face in his chest, letting out all of the pent up emotions she had been burying for the last four years.  


“shhh, ahsoka, it’s okay,” obi wan soothed. “it’s not your fault, it’s okay.” ahsoka looked up at her grandmaster, and for a moment, obi wan saw the image of the young girl he had known when she first arrived at the temple. her face was soft, and scared, and desperately looking for comfort.  


“i’m sorry i yelled at you,” ahsoka mumbled. “i shouldn’t have done that. i spent so long mourning you, thinking about the last things that i said to you and i-”  


“don’t fret, little one. you remember, i trained anakin. he had the worst temper i had ever seen in a child. but i knew, even when we were arguing, that we still cared for one another, very much,” obi wan said. ahsoka nodded.  


“i’ve missed you,” ahsoka said finally.  


“i’ve missed you too, so much,” obi wan said with a smile. he leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, before looking back at her. “i do believe we have a lot of catching up to do.”  


and for the first time in a long time, obi wan felt at peace.


End file.
